messy

for the past 6 weeks or so i've been in a Bible study discussing women and our emotions. my conclusion....women are emotional wrecks. all of us. insecurity, competitiveness and jealousy, anger, fear, fatigue, loneliness...just to name a few! we all have baggage. whether from our parents, our past, hurts, trials, beliefs, perspectives...whatever it is...we are burdened. we are all "groaning" for something more. something that this world is incapable of providing. there is an ache in my soul that will never go away on this earth...and i think that's a good thing. i'm beginning to grasp the fact that God is a jealous God, and He will pruin me back until i turn to Him...and remain in Him. it's a messy, ugly process. i fight His pruining daily. i want comforts, security, obedient kids, a sacrificial husband, more, more, more. i compare, i get angry, i'm lonely, i'm tired, i'm fearful, i'm insecure. it's a constant battle...a war for our hearts and minds and perspective. i'm slowly learning and thank goodness God is patient.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. From everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear Him.

Praise the Lord, O my soul.

Psalm 103